[Krishna Janmasthami Mubarak]

How do you celebrate the birth of historical-figure-cum-god Krishna? You (1) hang a dahi handi (literally a yogurt-pot, but symbolizing a cash prize of as much as Rs 11,00,000) from a wire, 20 to 50 feet above street level. Then you (2) assemble teams of 50 or so men and boys, dress them in identical (usually saffron) tee-shirts, and drive them around the city in flatbed trucks. These teams are known as govindas—whether after the dashing movie-star-cum-politician or Krishna's nickname meaning "supreme cowherd," I can't say for certain. Upon reaching the competition site, the teams race to (3) form human pyramids, à la cheerleaders, which mount to eight or even 10 levels before they (4) collapse violently and/or (5) smash the pots, claiming the prize.

Walking from Mumbai Central down to Opera House, I was shocked and disappointed by the near-total lack of hooliganism. I got hit with a water balloon but otherwise escaped unscathed. Crowds seemed to peak just north of Kalbadevi, where buses had trouble getting through the cross-streets. I only got to witness the govindas in action once I got down to V.T., where it seemed every by-lane and chawl had hosted one. We saw a five-story pyramid fall just shy of the prize, raising that eternal question, "Is it better to be the schlemiel or the schlemozzel?"

In evidence all around the city are the mandapam being erected for the upcoming Ganesh Utsav. I'm hoping to take a look at Lal Bagh's ganpati, which is supposed to be 10 m tall, before it gets dipped in the sea at Chowpatty.